Photo credit: William Scott

Debra Anderson is a Toronto-based author. Herizons Magazine described her first novel, Code White, as “a book that meets your eye, has a good handshake, and looks killer in a pair of fishnets.” Debra’s writing has been anthologized in Brazen Femme: Queering Femininity, Geeks, Misfits and Outlaws, and Bent on Writing: Contemporary Queer Tales. Debra is the winner of the Dayne Ogilvie Grant (2009), a grant awarded by the Writers’ Trust of Canada to an emerging gay Canadian writer for a body of work.

Here’s how Debra describes her contribution to Persistence: All Ways Butch and Femme: “My piece, ‘Spotlight’, explores my complex journey of coming into a femme identity and the powerful and cherished place that being femme has held for me.”

If you could give your younger self one book to read, what would it be?

This is a hard question, in particular because I fiercely clung to reading when I was younger as a way to enable me to first come out as a dyke, and then to come out as femme. Books were this vital lifeline to help me understand what I was and to learn about a community that was at first, unfamiliar.

I fell head over heels in love with so many books and authors, and, of course, pivotal anthologies such as Joan Nestle’s The Persistent Desire.

There was Stone Butch Blues by Leslie Feinberg, the life-altering writing of Joan Nestle, the powerful poems of Minnie Bruce Pratt, Linda Smukler, and Chrystos, the erotica of Patrick Califia, Diane DiMassa’s Hothead Paisan comics, the magical inspiration of Annie Sprinkle, and the writings of Audre Lorde, Amber Hollibaugh, and one of my favourite authors, Eileen Myles. There was also the incredible wealth of talented local queer authors that helped to sustain and inspire me.

But if I had to pick just one book, I think I’d actually have to narrow it down even further—to just one story. I would give myself my favourite short story of Dorothy Allison’s, “Her Thighs,” which can be found in her collection, Trash. I had the pleasure of reading Trash when I was fairly young, but I still wish that someone had given it to me much sooner. I wish I had read this particular story years and years before I did.

Who are your butch and/or femme role models and why?

My role models are all of the butches and femmes who have come before me, who I have looked up to and learned from, who have paved the way for us today, as well as the younger butches and femmes creating community who are constantly inspiring.

As I mentioned above, many of my role models have been writers, but also musicians, film and video makers, performance artists, and visual artists…it has meant so much to me to be able to read their stories or connect with their art. I always feel energized and moved by their courage and candour, and connected to something larger.

But when it comes down to it, I really get inspired by all of us out there, trying to live our daily lives as who we are, challenging and fighting homophobia while holding hands as we are walking down the street, pausing to kiss at a stoplight or when we’re attempting to accomplish the everyday details of renting an apartment or trying to get hired for a job.

There are those of us who are visible in our identities and those of us who are invisible, who must come out again and again to  challenge oppression, and I am always so in awe of all the work that goes into that for us all—navigating the every day. How we all manage all of those details and get up to do it again the very next morning is very inspiring.

And our outfits—I’m always so in awe of our outfits!

If you could say one thing to future butches and femmes, what would it be?

“Find out who you are, then do it on purpose.” — Dolly Parton

Learn to take up space. Don’t let anyone tell you to put something on, take something off, take something back, tone it down, or go home. It is okay not to fit in. Do it your own way. Be kind. Be strong. Treat others with respect. Hold your head up.

Be willing to make the first move. Take a chance. Don’t make assumptions. Unravel each other’s hurts. Bear witness. Heal. Repeat. Celebrate every possible joyous thing. Remember who you are.

Allow yourself to make mistakes. We all have disasters. An outfit. A date. The morning after. Take a tumble. Get up again. See the marks you make. Learn how to apologize.

You will be told No. Learn to be okay with this and move on. Yes, will be the answer that will matter the most.

Be open. Don’t gossip. Have courage. Show up. Desire is a good thing. Don’t be afraid to dazzle. Nothing is ever too much. Never stop wanting.